Gutfeld: Is extra politics simply extra distress?

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There’s a superb probability I make you sick to your abdomen, like, say, a 40% probability — about the identical odds you’d get in case you eat the clam plate at Denny’s.

That’s in accordance with University of Nebraska consultants, who declare that 4 in 10 individuals cite politics as a prime life stressor. It’s so dangerous that it causes insomnia, destroys relationships, and for a minimum of 5 p.c, causes them to really feel suicidal.

So does watching “Emily in Paris,” however I’m not quitting that both. It actually is pleasant. In the second season, getting picked up for a 3rd.

DRAMATIC 14-POINT SHIFT IN PARTY PREFERENCE GIVES GOP BIGGEST LEAD SINCE 1995: GALLUP

They blame politics for inflicting fatigue, anger and compulsive behaviors. And that’s simply from the employees of “Fox & Friends.”

1 / 4 declare they’re considering of transferring due to the politics of their state, particularly California, which explains why U-Hauls are more durable to seek out than an actress with an actual nostril.

Can you blame them? Politics suck and our flesh pressers are suckier. Look at them. Their faces must be on the again of family cleansing merchandise to induce vomiting if swallowed. And Pelosi’s funding success has raised some eyebrows, together with hers, to the highest of her brow.

We’re a rustic run by evil rejects from the “Muppets,” besides they’ve acquired their fingers up your butt and it doesn’t really feel pretty much as good because it used to.

So, very similar to smoking weed, politics began as a factor to forestall individuals from killing one another. You created a course of that allows debate to get rid of the necessity for duels, which is sweet.

Try shopping for an honest sword on Amazon. I’ve tried, however over time, politics has turn into much less of a mayhem reducer and extra the alternative — a battle stirrer. Why is it getting worse? Well, consultants blame social media web sites, podcasts and the nonstop TV information cycle.

But discover how they miss legacy media. It’s on us and never them.

But one factor is true: Cable information has a content material downside, which is a time downside. How do you fill 24 hours with 20 minutes of stories?

It’s like attempting to feed Brian Stelter just one field of Twinkies. So you simply repeat it over and again and again.

Brian Stelter, Chief Media Correspondent for CNN.
( Matt Winkelmeyer/Getty Images for Vanity Fair)

Back after I was a child, you bought your information at 6 p.m., then you definitely completed your Swanson’s TV dinner, adjusted your polio braces, and all was proper with the world.

Too quickly? I don’t know.

Now we will take one story and just like the pores and skin on Jerry Nadler’s trunk, stretch it for 3 days.

Rep. Jerry Nadler.

Rep. Jerry Nadler.
(Photo by Zach Gibson/Getty Images)

The media declares a disaster, then covers their protection of it, then covers response to their protection. No marvel individuals really feel dangerous. But simply think about how a lot happier you be. If you tuned all of it out.

Speaker 1: Oh, my god, Laurie, did you see the information final evening? It’s infuriating, I couldn’t sleep.

Speaker 2: Oh no. I used to be stargazing. The universe is great.

Speaker 1: Do you learn this loopy stuff is occurring?

Speaker 2: Oh no, I’ve simply been admiring this stunning drawing my niece made me.

Speaker 1: Oh, have you ever listened to the podcast “Angry Men Discuss Politics”?

Speaker 2: Oh no, I’ve been listening to sounds of the ocean.

Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well, you higher educate your self otherwise you’re by no means going to outlive.

Here’s the kicker. People really now really feel worse beneath Biden than in Trump when Trump was president. According to Gallup, in only one yr, we noticed a swing from a nine-point Democratic benefit to a five-point GOP edge.

That’s a shift of 14 factors, in accordance with our point-shifting division. Shout-out to Seth. Good job.

That’s fairly massive when you think about the media continues to be 95% liberal, and in addition that Biden was alleged to be a jar of Relief Factor after Trump’s four-year rug burn.

Biden was alleged to deliver individuals collectively, besides we didn’t realize it’d be in a line ready for COVID checks.

So individuals really feel worse beneath Joe, maybe as a result of he’s extra divisive than a magician with a round noticed.

President Biden.

President Biden.
(AP Photo/Evan Vucci)

Now your intuition is responsible these guys. Understandable. They’re A-holes, however they’re being led by greater A-holes.

Our politicians now face recognition from essentially the most excessive media varieties to get the dopamine rush, the Dems throw that beast extra crimson meat in 24 hours than a zookeeper on Ritalin.

That’s why Biden, as an alternative of preventing crime or inflation, calls half of America bigots. His employees is merely checking what crap tends to pattern on woke Twitter after which spoon-feeds it to the outdated coot like his spouse does his strained beats.

What say you, Joe?

FAUX PRESIDENT BIDEN: Come on, look, look, some individuals assume I’m indignant. Don’t imagine the whole lot you hear. I’m by no means indignant. I’m Uncle Joe, alright? People like me and I, you recognize, I don’t imagine individuals are is sad as they are saying, it depends upon who you ask. Depends on who depend the votes. Count the votes. Count the votes. Count the votes. OK, effectively, it comes and goes.

But it does come and go.

But additionally have a look at the fashionable progressive activist. We’ve seen Antifa mug photographs, pale faces, purple hair, rotted tooth, lazy eyes, what Jim Norton calls a stable 9.

The examine finds the individuals most weak to political stress are youthful, lean Democrat and are extra actively engaged in political causes. They’re extra prone to dye their hair surprising colours, too.

That’s nature’s means of warning you about toxic frogs or a toxic liberal arts main. But it is sensible in case you select an indignant, bitter framing of the world, You too shall be indignant and bitter in case you view the whole lot by way of a racial prism.

You may find yourself with your individual present on MSNBC, however you received’t discover a second of happiness in your life. Everything’s racist. It’s joyless.

You’ll be continually pissed off by your defective framing, and nobody desires to be round that. Finally, the researchers see their information as a foul signal for democracy that if individuals view politics as dangerous, they received’t get entangled.

And why is that dangerous, precisely? They simply stated the extra concerned you might be, the more serious it’s. Maybe swallowing all that junk meals is dangerous for you.

If you’re injecting politics into the whole lot from sports activities to deal with paint, you’re changing data with rhetoric and dropping associates, household, and your thoughts within the course of.

So in case your head hurts since you hold hitting it with a hammer, then put down the hammer.

But in case you’re Don Lemon, hold at it.

It can solely assist.

This article is tailored from Greg Gutfeld’s opening monologue on the January 18, 2022 version of “Gutfeld!”

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